Boundaries, Bullies, and Being You: A Vision for My Baby Girl
by Rumaisa Khawaja
To my Beautifull Baby Girl -
As you read this, I want you to know just how long I have waited to have you in my life. I never knew how much love I could give until you entered my world
I am so incredibly honored that you chose me to be your mother, and that I get to soak in the joy of watching you grow up.
I love and adore you SO MUCH! Today, I took you to a new school and had the pleasure of watching you play with your new friends, as I hid outside in the lobby watching you from afar.
Dearest girl, I just love your smiles, the way you bounce to the beat when you dance to music, the way you sing out loud to all of your favorite songs.... I love just how much care and kindness you have towards others.... The way you pull me into you kiss my forehead and tell me you "wuv me." You are simply beautiful inside and out.
I know many mothers say this about their children, but really.... You are truly beautiful! I love the way you express and push others away when you have had too much extended family time.
I love how you say NO with such conviction!!!
I love that you are aware of setting boundaries, and that you have no problem expressing yourself. I am in awe at the smart cookie that you have become at just two years old. I am so proud of the little girl that I am raising, and the person you are becoming.... May you continue to grow to become the person you are intending to be.
I want you to know that there will be moments in your life that you may feel sad, alone and scared. We all have those moments. Even me.
There may be times in which you may want to share your kindness with others, but they may not be ready for it. Just know, that you are not alone. There will be times that others will want to call you names, or want to see you sad and hurt.
Did you know that I used to be made fun of all through my childhood? In grade school I was told that I was fat and ugly by my "friends." In 5th grade I had the nickname of booger because I had a runny nose one day. There was a good month where my "friends" did not want to talk or play with me because my runny nose. In 7th grade I remember in Science class a number of students had placed the erasers from their pencils onto their forehead to make them stick, as if they were an indian woman wearing a bindhi. They then put their hands to their mouths to make a song based on an american indian tribal chant. Go figure, they were mixing the east and the west indian cultures. Talk about closed-mindedness! In high school, I went to a party with my best friend at the time, the same friend who made fun of me in grade school. This is where I tried alcohol and pot for the first time. I passed out. The next thing I knew, I woke up to three different guys rubbing and touching me at the same time. When I looked around the room, there was my great friends Mindy and Dawn watching and laughing at me. I was 17 yrs old at the time
There are so many things I want you to know about other people. I want you to know, that kids can be very mean to one another. There will be people in your life who will say they are your friends, but may not have your best interest at heart. There will be people who may get a rise out of trying to hurt you. I want you to know that everyone has a story, and people who try to hurt you are usually hurting inside, too. You cannot control what they are doing, but you can control how you react. You can choose to surround yourself with people who make you smile, people who bring you joy.
I want you to know that your body is your own. Always your own. If someone is pressuring you to do something you do not want to do, you have every right to say NO. Always do a gut check and ask yourself, "Does this feel right?" or "Do I want to do this?" or "Is this something that brings me joy?" If you answer no to any of these questions, then that's your answer.... NO.
Sweet baby girl, you do not have to be friends with everyone. You do not have to say yes to everyone and everything.
It is not your job to make everyone around you happy.
You are entitled to your feelings, and I want you to continue to express yourself just as you are doing now; when you are hurt, sad, angry and joyful. Your feelings are very important, and you do matter. My vision for you is that you never lose your voice, that you continue to express. Whether it is through writing, art, singing, talking, music... Share your voice.
My vision for you is to continue to lead your life with that fire you have.
That you continue to be curious about yourself, and that you know that no matter how difficult the conversation is, I am here for you.
I love you my sweet baby girl.